Episode 2 just aired and in this episode, Jeremy Clarkson finds a bicycle in a river, James May annoys a dog and Richard Hammond jumps over a dike. Spoiler alert!

Aston Martin Virage

James May gets to the track with a selection of sporty Astons – a DBS, a V12 Vantage and a Vantage S – to illustrate what’s wrong with modern sports cars – handling. And it’s all thanks to automakers’ quest to blitz the Nurburgring. Now, there seems to be a compromise with handling and comfort in the new Aston Martin Virage. The 490 hp should place it in between the DBS and the DB9 and in a drag race, it does come second. Same goes with handling. Still, it has the nicest interior of the current Astons and has a better sat-nav. However, Aston missed the opportunity when it comes to comfort. Bottom line: It’s just another pointless bone-shaking racing car. Power lap time: 1:24.4.

News

In the news, they discuss the Aston Martin V12 Zagato, the “good-looking” Citroen DS5, the Kia Optima, and the Vizualtech Growler E 2011 (and in England, “growler” is slang for an unkempt lady parts and that prompts a round of innuendo from the three).

European Hothatch Roadtrip Part 1

A challenge to find out the  best hot hatch. The three meet up in Lucca, Italy to start their European roadtrip. Jezza arrives with a Citroen DS Racing, James in a Renaultsport Clio RS, and Hammond completes the lineup with the Fiat 500 Abarth Esseesse with the sliding roof. As usual, they rip at each other’s cars.

For their first challenge, they need to drive the car to an urban environment which means driving out of Lucca but Lucca’s a medieval Renaissance-era walled city where the streets are literally a maze. Jezza and James finds their cars quite huge in Lucca. Richard decides to park his Fiat to walk out to find his way out but gets lost going back to his car. James, as always, got terribly lost.

Their next challenge is to drive to Canelli and bring with them a branch of a cedar tree, ice cubes, and photos of as many people as they can in their car, a CD from a service station but they may not get out of their cars, a bicycle a vine and a dog. Interesting bits for the challenge: the car stuffing and absurd bartering bits to get the other items, and taking their cars off-road to scavenge.

Star in a Reasonably-Priced Car: Ross Noble

For the rest of us not familiar with Ross Noble, he’s an English stand-up comedian. Ross points out how Top Gear wrangles the attractive females and push them at the front of the crowd. Already noticed that from way back. As far as motoring goes, Ross is a biker but has got some interesting car tales including  the Australia bush fires. His lap time:  1:43.5 2nd fastest around the track.

European Hothatch Roadtrip Part 2

Next day, the boys drives down to Monaco where they share a few more bits about their car. They arrive just in time for the Monaco Grand Prix and as part of their challenge, they will do three laps of the track. Just before they do, they get to talk to F1 drivers for tips. Jezza talks to David Coulthard, Mark Webber,  and Ruben Barrichello for tips while James and Richard are stuck in the yachts partying and only got to talk to Timo Glock.

For their first run, they get to have a guide with them. Richard’s tutor is Red Bull boss Christian Horner, James gets Flavio Briatore, and Jezza gets F1 big boss Bernie Ecclestone. Afterwards, they get on to set their hot lap times.

Final scores: Jezza’s DS Racing – 38, Richard’s Fiat – 5 and James’s Renault – 17. Winner: Jezza.