For a country of Roman Catholics, we sure have plenty of drivers doomed to hell. Philippine roads are clearly no place for the “Do unto others…” thing preached by the iconic Jew.
When I come into power, I’d definitely redefine the way people drive. Forget about speeding tickets and driver’s education. How about the Code of Hammurabi? Sure wipes ass with modern jurisprudence and pisses on it in terms scaring the unlawfulness of the populace.
A barbaric system that fits out barbaric driving ways. That’s how I see it.
- Smokers who let their arms dangle out their windows or those truck and jeepney drivers who establish right of way by flashing their arms even if they clearly aren’t entitled to will have their arms plucked from the sockets.
- And here’s how to resolve traffic citations. The violators and the citing officer will have to immerse themselves in a drum of ice cold water. First one who taps out loses. Whoever wins, the citation stands or is revoked and will take custody of the loser’s first born as slave.
- Truck drivers and operators who overload their trucks will be sodomized by a five-hundred pound sadist with a ten-inch willie. Bus drivers who cram their buses full like a can of sardines will have to lick every passenger’s armpit.
- Drivers of cars with noisy aftermarket tailpipes will have their anuses sealed tight with super glue. Drivers of cars with thumping sub-woofers or with blaring speakers will be subjected to a two-hour barrage of pompyang slaps to the head.
- Government officials will be responsible for any roadwork (both major and minor) that doesn’t get done in a week. Else, they will be stripped buck naked and dragged the length of the road being repaired.
- Or perhaps something similar to what James May proposed. Officials will be stripped buck naked and placed inside bamboo cages at the side of the road. Motorists are issued poking sticks with which they can poke at the officials.
Looks like I have something going on here. Now to think of the many other punishments for all the other traffic violations and annoyances.