I spent much of my formative driving years plying the length of Commonwealth Avenue so I know it’s really a dangerous road to be on since the volume of vehicles on that road means you’re surrounded by a lot of morons. And I’m sure that the many deaths have involved these inferior driving breed.

Practicing defensive driving on roads where everyone is on the offensive is one of the most taxing things I do on a daily basis. And I’m sick of it. When I come to power, no morons (and everyone dumber) will ever be allowed on the road and it would start by making sure that not one moron gets a chance to drive on MY roads.

I propose driver eugenics. We must separate the wheat from chaff, cull the unworthy, weed out all non-hackers who do not pack the gear to be a proper gearhead (to rip-off Gunny Hartman).

I say cancel everyone’s driver’s license and have everyone retake a more stringent set of tests both theoretical and practical. I say make the written test a 200-point exam, right-minus-wrong, 80% passing score for the theoretical and a test on defensive driving, parking, emergency maneuvers, maintenance and basic automotive troubleshooting. I say put the Swedish driving test to shame.

Though a friend suggested a more hardcore form of driver eugenics, where every jeepney driver/conductor who flails his arms to signal and assume that it immediately establishes right of way should have their arms torn off.